Lauren's PREGNANT SLOG

The second grouping of pregnancy test sticks.

Yes, you are all still waiting for LJ's sundry race reports but in the meantime I'll provide an update on my personal life. If you couldn't tell due to the lack of blogs on training and racing, I am taking the season off because I am pregnant and due mid October! Matt and I are super excited for Mini Matt to arrive and if his incessant kicking of my lower ribs is any indication, this kid is going to be a handful!

In the weeks and months leading up to the pregnancy test I took in February, I had thrown myself into a frenzy about whether I'd be able to get pregnant. Pataky finally forced me to take a test and I set it on the counter to wait for the requisite 5 minutes. After .01 seconds,  I saw nothing but the test line and immediately devolved into a rage of hormones. A few minutes later, however, he approached me with the errant stick. There, through the power of binoculars, we saw an EXTREEEEMELY faint plus sign. OF COURSE this test was lying so I quickly took 100 pictures from multiple angles, ISO settings, and lenses and sent them to my great and patient friend Jill, who CONVENIENTLY happens to be an OBGYN. She told us to be "cautiously optimistic" in her stern doctor language, so Matt and I sat around for the next 5 days being cautiously optimistic (terrified) before I took 500 additional tests which confirmed it.

Needless to say our lives have already changed tremendously, and mini Matt has not even arrived. The first trimester for me was not awesome. I went from training 17-20 hours a week to curling up in the fetal position after work (and during work), only to have Matt come home and ask me what was wrong.  In addition to barely being able to move, I could barely eat. Veggies and eggs were out. LJ came to visit for a few weeks and I even banned her from making her acclaimed egg bombs. I feel she is still bitter about that one. The only foods I could stomach were dairy products. I was a walking advertisement for organic dairy farms. Weekends consisted of attempting to get up for masters swims at Stanford. When I did make it to swim, I'd come home afterwards and immediately resume the fetal position on the couch for the rest of the day.

Thankfully I hit 16 weeks and felt awesome, or as awesome as one can feel while pregnant. I'm now back to "exercising" (not training) 1-2 times a day, depending upon how I feel and am just happy that I can actually eat normal foods again.

 
A few things I've noticed:

- It is hard to get my competitive juices under control when pregnant: While I’ve had to physically slow down, that doesn’t mean my annoyingly competitive ego has melted away. I still hate being passed or “beaten”, yet this is really a foregone conclusion now. I am not going to be able to maintain the same pace as I did while not pregnant. How do I combat this?

1. Run with a dog: Dogs poop and stop to smell things. When I hear the labored breathing of a weekend warrior sprinting to catch me as I lumber along at pregnancy pace, praying to God my bladder will remain intact, I simply command Ronin to stop and conveniently smell something. That way, I am not technically being overtaken and can blame Ronin for everything. 
2. Ride a mountain bike on the road – I’m pretty much banished to the indoor trainer most of the time, but occasionally I bust out my mountain bike and ride it on the road or trails that do not include the threat of cliffs or mountain lions. I don't worry about being passed on the road because I can always blame the stubby tires of the mountain bike.
3. Ban the power meter from my bike: As I watched my wattage on the bike drop precipitously, I realized there is no reason I should be tracking my watts. There are no “which pregnant woman can average the highest watts” contests. I finally pulled off my power meter and banished it to the post-birth box, along with my skinny jeans.
4. Declare to all my lane mates at masters swimming that I am pregnant – this immediately enables me to swim last in the lane and trumps all other excuses, such as the ubiquitous “oh I haven’t been in the pool for 2 months and can’t possibly swim without floaties” line.
5. The fake spin class “twist of the dial.” When the spin instructor tells everyone to turn up the resistance and I’m not feeling so hot, I just fake a turn and continue on at my negative 200 resistance. While everyone else is climbing Everest, I’m pretty much freewheeling – and some days lately that feels like climbing Everest to me.

- Why do people insist on pointing, poking me, or examining my abdomen? This has become my new pet peeve. Do I really need to hear for the zillionth time that my boobs have grown? NO SH*&! I am not the first woman in the world to be pregnant. Nothing new to see here. MOVE ALONG.

- There are far too many advice books out there on pregnancy.

- I will never take for granted riding outside in the sunshine again. EVER.

- I have become incredibly adept at finding make shift toilets. Perhaps this was a skill I had previously honed on race mornings with porta potty lines 2 hours long?

- Avoid the pregnant or wanting to be pregnant forums at all costs.

- Maternity jeans are a very good investment in one’s sanity and well-being.

- Body image issues do not miraculously go away when you become pregnant.  The purgatory of not looking pregnant but not looking normal is quite a character-builder.

- Do things you normally wouldn’t do when not pregnant:  Meditation is awesome! Cleaning my closet?  Not awesome. Trips to London with  my sister during May are normally inconceivable as I cannot be without my bike for more than 24 hours. 3 hour nature hikes into rattler and mountain-lion infested territory with fellow pregnant friends are good times.

Hiking with Nina, her Matt, Pataky, Ronin, rattlers, and Mtn lions.

- It pays to have a close friend who happens to be an OB. My previously mentioned good friend and college roommate Jill is an OBGYN in SF. She is the recipient of endless calls from the Patakys. These calls range from: "Does a smiley face on an ovulation kit truly mean I am ovulating and could it possibly lie?" to "Jill, can I do a 50 mile ride?" to “ Jill, can I do a 2 day hike at altitude while 7 months pregnant,” to "Jill what happens if I can't eat one vegetable during pregnancy. Will my child have scurvy?" She deserves a spa vacation after all of this. Pataky allows me to do any activity as long as I do it with her. This will include a trip to the Madonna concert a few days before I'm due!

-It also pays to have a friend going through pregnancy at the same time. There is nothing like being able to complain via text with someone else at 7am on why nothing in our respective closets fits, or what types of maternity clothes are the best, or “OMG I literally ripped a hole in my tight swimsuit in the middle of Stanford masters swim.” Empathy is awesome.


I'm sure I'll learn many more things along the way and am just trying to live in this moment of pregnancy, as I’ve learned in my meditation classes, and not keep thinking about what is next around the corner. Racing and training will come back soon enough, but most importantly, we'll have an awesome little boy to add to Team Pataky. HOW COOL IS THAT?! And yes, we shall add him to the local swim team at 6 months, so that he will not suffer from my "I learned to swim at age 27" malady.

A Ferrari F1 "onesie" - my first baby purchase -go figure.

A burberry mini jacket - Matt's first baby purchase - REALLY go figure.

Yes, it's a boy.

He has a head!

The first glamor shot of mini matt. Looks more like a piece of rice.

Salisbury Cathedral outside of London - awesome!

NATION'S CAPITAL NUTBUTTER SUPPLY INCREASING UNEXPECTEDLY

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 
www.rookiepros.blogspot.com

CONTACT: Lauren Harrison 
CEO, of her life
laurenharrison00@gmail.com

NATION'S CAPITAL NUTBUTTER SUPPLY INCREASING UNEXPECTEDLY

(Los Altos, CA; January 26th, 2012) I am relatively happy to announce that the Costco of the DC area will soon be sorely missing the daily random purchases of one young Lindsey Jerdonek. Yes, as of Friday, LJ is quitting COLD TURKEY her long-lasting "spreadsheet addiction" (read: current job) to become a real pro triathlete, the type that takes naps during the day and does not have to get up at 5am to jam in a swim session before a long day of work and other obligations.

Yes, my slogmate has moved on and is moving up and I congratulate her on making this huge decision as she takes the necessary steps to reach her goals. No longer will she find the need to resort to motivational quotes on reaching her potential..she is living it..down and dirty.

One fall-out from her decision is that I no longer will have someone with which to commiserate virtually on the stress of training, working, mountain lion spotting, and the complete and utter lack of creativity in my daily chickenspinachhummus lunches (I'm taking applications for this internship). On the other hand, Lindsey's recent freedom means that perhaps the Pataky home will have a visitor from time to time who will provide cooking and dog walking services and let me win during swim warm ups.

Kidding aside, congrats Lindsey. While you may never beat me up Soledad canyon road, I have full confidence you will go far and am so happy for you. :)

For those of you lucky enough to live within a 100 mile radius of LJ,  you can join her this Saturday afternoon to say goodbye. She promises she won't try to bum a ride off you afterwards or make you move 10 boxes. Read future cosmonaut Jonathan Snow's much more creative announcement below for the details.

70.3 "World Championships"...100 yrs ago.

Strategizing on how to find some random spectator to pack her bike and take her to airport post race.

Need I say more?

Cheating on Costco with Walmart in LCNM

Gratuitous dog shot of the month.

From Snow....

"Sayonara," she says.  "Greener training pastures await!"

Your friend and mine, Lindsey Jerdonek, is leaving DC for... she's not
sure, but somewhere.  And unlike countless precedents, she's not asking
one of us for a ride, but is high-tailing it out of here on her own,
hitting the road with everything she'll need -- primarily a stockpile of
nut-butters, a bike, a mega-supply of hydrogen peroxide and bandages,
and a mind-reading, automatic egg-scrambler-- to take her to the next
level in her quest for triathlon glory.  She leaves town Sunday,
possibly bound for a snowbird winter in Florida, to be followed by
nomadic spring of chasing training partners and training camps all over
the US of A.  A shaded spot down by the Homosassa River behind a Costco
has been reportedly identified as the likely temporary location of her
VW-based living/training camp.

We'll all miss Lindsey, so we've coordinated with Her People on an event
to bid her a happy and successful farewell until we see her again (rumor
going around is that she'll make an appearance at the DC Triathlon in
June).  We're thankful for the time she's spent with us in DC on her way
up.

WHO: You and the rest of the DC triathlon / GRC hanger-on / work /
Lindsey community.  Lindsey also told me to tell you that, as rapper
T.I. would say, "You can bring whoever you like."
WHAT: Fair winds and following seas to LJ
WHEN: THIS Saturday, the 28th, 3pm to 6pm-- whenever you can pop in
WHERE: Buffalo Billiards, right off DuPont Circle
WHY: To grab a pint while recounting some story about Lindsey running
late / getting injured / asking for a ride / talking incessantly about
the merits of gmail/gchat...  Oh, and to wish her well!

A quote from her royal tri-ness, herself: "I'm telling you, I sincerely
apologize for the short notice and hope that as many people as possible
can make it out.  I'll even try to be on time for my own farewell."

The Salting of America and other LAHP Musings

Life is happening again in the Pataky household and that is how I like it. Matt is making progress in his recovery and we are learning how to live with the necessary changes. I’m slowly relinquishing my temporary claim on the most sexy of tasks – dog-walking, front yard dog crap clean up, trash take-out, and designated driving. I really have no stories to relate or bits of wisdom to impart to others, so I’ll leave you with my list of random thoughts compiled over the past few weeks of pondering life, making changes, and indoor training:

- Salt (the compound, not the Angelina Jolie movie which I highly recommend, by the way) has invaded America. This substance is quite pervasive. Morton’s probably even salts its own freaking salt. SERIOUSLY. Matt is on strict orders to eat low sodium as he continues to heal, and me, being the chef that I am, thought it would be easy to avoid salt. This is not easy. One Chipotle chicken bowl with no salsa or cheese crap or rice has over 1000 mg of sodium. Innocent - looking cottage cheese has over 500 mg of sodium per serving. Our favorite pre-cooked Trader Joe lentils are bathed in salt! Most gluten-free food in a box is also quite salty. To solve this problem, we’ve had to resort to cooking that which we find at the farmer’s market and throwing in a bunch of rogue spices. Imagine that.

THIS salt

NOT this salt

- Team Pataky competitiveness knows no bounds. We are competitive meat shoppers and recently beat out all the other organic, earth-lovers at the hormone free, grass fed, better than NIMAN Ranch pork and lamb sale at our local farm. Oh yeah.

- I suck at driving. Especially when Matt is in the car and judging me. Especially when he is not allowed to drive.

- Dogs generate a ton of crap.....and do it to spite me...and only do it when I’m the one in charge of cleaning up.

- CAFFEINE should be a regulated drug. This substance is in everything and I've recently learned that it is not necessarily the best thing to overdose on while participating in endurance events. I calculated that in a normal Ironman I probably consume upwards of ONE THOUSAND milligrams of caffeine in a less than 10 hour period of time. PERHAPS THIS IS WHY I HAVE HEART PALPITATIONS FOR WEEKS AFTER AN IRONMAN? "They" don’t tell you this in Living 101, though. Anyway, if I happened to have some latent heart condition, this caffeine consumption could become extremely problematic. I'll lay off the 2x caffeine gels at my next race and supplement with some vanilla.

- Being in the not on but not off season is mentally taxing – a physical purgatory of sorts, but one that I shall overcome.

- The internet is a wealth of information on heart health but all of the research seems to contradict. Endurance sports cause heart issues yet sitting on one’s ass and eating Chik-fil-A (what corporate person chose that spelling?) causes heart issues. Cholesterol is bad. Cholesterol is really not so bad. Eat no fat. Eat all fat. Eat low fat. Avoid grain. Eat lots of grain..especially Cheerios because it has the heart healthy label on it. Avoid sugar (you know, the main ingredient in said Cheerios). Eat a small baby wolf at each full moon to ward off heart issues. WTF is a person to do?


- Have you taken your CPR course yet? Mine will be the first weekend of 2012.

- Mountain biking alone while the Sherpa is down is quite possibly the scariest thing possible. I think the local mountain lions know something is up and that I’m temporarily flying solo. This has increased my speed considerably.

- When you have little time for training due to life circumstances beyond your control, I have found that doing all your swim and run training in Zone 4 does wonders for your fitness.

- Similarly - training without a powermeter for 3 months has been quite liberating. I finally strapped on ye old SRM the other day in all its wired glory, mentally preparing myself to see some abysmal numbers. To my surprise, my HOUR OF POWER cycling training plan has yielded good results. If you are worried about losing cycling fitness, I recommend riding zone zillion intervals or just "all out" whenever you have the time to ride. This is also a great way to eliminate stress. (Note: I am not a coach, even though I do read Slowtwitch. Don’t follow my advice.)

- Before making decisions on where to go clubbing (because we are such huge clubbers), we must consider Matt's ICD (defibrillator). I think it almost went off at the club where his holiday party was hosted, due to the "approaching shuttle launch level" decibels being thrown from the speakers.


- Being able to ride one's bike is a beautiful beautiful thing. Matt's first ride back:


- Breaking Dawn Part I is really awful.

I think I've pretty much captured all the safe for public consumption musings in my head.



What would a blog post be without dog photos and the ubiquitous Princeton sweatshirt?


The ULTIMATE in dog gifts - combine my obsession with dogs and mtn lions.

Irondog: An Ode to the 109th Congress of 2005

While I typically have nothing nice to say about the US Congress from 2000-2006 and this will never make up for all the other crap they passed or failed to pass, I must give them a shout out for passing one piece of legislation near and dear to my heart: extended daylight savings!!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been doing most of my training indoors this winter due to not enjoying riding over 20mph in the darkness. I was therefore quite ecstatic when I learned last week that my days in the dungeon were drawing to a close. I love daylight. I crave daylight. I actual chose my wedding day to be the longest day of the year because of this daylight fetish (or perhaps that was because my mother forced that day upon me.) Anyway, today the only thing that got me out the door for my z4 fun run was knowing that I wouldn't have to play frogger at dusk with distracted SUV-drivers in a hurry to get home to CSI:insert glamorous city here. They really tend to get in the way of my intervals.

In honor of daylight savings I would like to bid adieu to my days in the garage by allowing you to screen this short film Matt put together about my indoor training with my west coast training partner, Ronin, who happens to be named after the most hardcore tv character known to humanity. I am training Ronin to run 6 minute miles in his sleep.....a rabbit for my overly competitive mind. Currently he is about 6 seconds per revolution of tail chase, but with my training philosophy of LSD running, powercranks, maximum heart rate calculations, FTP and TSS (yes I use a powermeter and don't understand these acronyms), GPS stalking devices, only training one's strength, accessing one's inner fat stores for fuel, and compression sock utilization, Ronin will endeavor to become an AG all american. Perhaps his mother will be prescient enough to force him to do swim team so that he can even go ITU and wear swedes. (I apologize to my non-triathlete friends for these sentences. Just erase them from your memory. If you do have kids, however, please make them join swim team at an early age.)

Happy Daylight Savings!!! Get out of the Garage!!!

PS: I don't advocate running with stick in mouth.