FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: Lauren Harrison
CEO, of her life
NATION'S CAPITAL NUTBUTTER SUPPLY INCREASING UNEXPECTEDLY
(Los Altos, CA; January 26th, 2012) I am relatively happy to announce that the Costco of the DC area will soon be sorely missing the daily random purchases of one young Lindsey Jerdonek. Yes, as of Friday, LJ is quitting COLD TURKEY her long-lasting "spreadsheet addiction" (read: current job) to become a real pro triathlete, the type that takes naps during the day and does not have to get up at 5am to jam in a swim session before a long day of work and other obligations.
Yes, my slogmate has moved on and is moving up and I congratulate her on making this huge decision as she takes the necessary steps to reach her goals. No longer will she find the need to resort to motivational quotes on reaching her potential..she is living it..down and dirty.
One fall-out from her decision is that I no longer will have someone with which to commiserate virtually on the stress of training, working, mountain lion spotting, and the complete and utter lack of creativity in my daily chickenspinachhummus lunches (I'm taking applications for this internship). On the other hand, Lindsey's recent freedom means that perhaps the Pataky home will have a visitor from time to time who will provide cooking and dog walking services and let me win during swim warm ups.
Kidding aside, congrats Lindsey. While you may never beat me up Soledad canyon road, I have full confidence you will go far and am so happy for you. :)
For those of you lucky enough to live within a 100 mile radius of LJ, you can join her this Saturday afternoon to say goodbye. She promises she won't try to bum a ride off you afterwards or make you move 10 boxes. Read future cosmonaut Jonathan Snow's much more creative announcement below for the details.
|70.3 "World Championships"...100 yrs ago.|
|Strategizing on how to find some random spectator to pack her bike and take her to airport post race.|
|Need I say more?|
|Cheating on Costco with Walmart in LCNM|
|Gratuitous dog shot of the month.|
"Sayonara," she says. "Greener training pastures await!"
Your friend and mine, Lindsey Jerdonek, is leaving DC for... she's not
sure, but somewhere. And unlike countless precedents, she's not asking
one of us for a ride, but is high-tailing it out of here on her own,
hitting the road with everything she'll need -- primarily a stockpile of
nut-butters, a bike, a mega-supply of hydrogen peroxide and bandages,
and a mind-reading, automatic egg-scrambler-- to take her to the next
level in her quest for triathlon glory. She leaves town Sunday,
possibly bound for a snowbird winter in Florida, to be followed by
nomadic spring of chasing training partners and training camps all over
the US of A. A shaded spot down by the Homosassa River behind a Costco
has been reportedly identified as the likely temporary location of her
VW-based living/training camp.
We'll all miss Lindsey, so we've coordinated with Her People on an event
to bid her a happy and successful farewell until we see her again (rumor
going around is that she'll make an appearance at the DC Triathlon in
June). We're thankful for the time she's spent with us in DC on her way
WHO: You and the rest of the DC triathlon / GRC hanger-on / work /
Lindsey community. Lindsey also told me to tell you that, as rapper
T.I. would say, "You can bring whoever
WHAT: Fair winds and following seas to LJ
WHEN: THIS Saturday, the 28th, 3pm to 6pm-- whenever you can pop in
WHERE: Buffalo Billiards, right off DuPont Circle
WHY: To grab a pint while recounting some story about Lindsey running
late / getting injured / asking for a ride / talking incessantly about
the merits of gmail/gchat... Oh, and to wish her well!
A quote from her royal tri-ness, herself: "I'm telling you, I sincerely
apologize for the short notice and hope that as many people as possible
can make it out. I'll even try to be on time for my own farewell."