Thursday, August 9, 2012

Back to the 90s

I'm still here and alive. I think LJ is alive as well, somewhere in the hills of Asheville or perhaps in the Potomac region. I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant at this point and up until this past weekend I've just been rolling along quite dandily.

HOWEVER, desperate times call for desperate measures. Due to an appallingly crappy immune system  I have developed an infection in my foot which has precluded me from any swimming, biking, or running with a normal shoe for a bit. I find it crazy that pregnancy can kill my immune system more than racing 3 Ironmans and multiple halfs in a year, but I'm learning each day that pregnancy can and will take much out of me! I've been fine up till now swimming slower and slower each day, "jogging" slower and slower each day and riding on the trainer slower and slower each day, but when a doctor commands me not to do any of these things the pregnancy hormones plus lack of endorphin release leads to all hell breaking loose in my head.

Never fear. I have found a way to continue on with my exercise and this solution includes a combination of crocs and the StairMaster. Yes, I have found a way to incorporate bad 2000s fashion with bad 1990s exercise equipment in order to create a perfect system for endorphin release. 
My battle station. And yes, there is a piece missing in my croc. Ronin decided to bite off a bit just to taste it as a puppy.

I may not be able to swim, bike, and run, but I can manhandle that StairMaster like an elite, one foot croc-wearing StairMaster champion now. 

Here are a few explanatory tips for the unenlightened:

- A croc is an incredibly ugly plastic "shoe" worn by triathletes pre 2009. You might find this species in airport kiosks, mall stores, or a random garage sale. Nurses and doctors may sport the "business croc" with its closed toe, while athletes typically prefer the sling back croc or the pseudo soccer sandal croc (copy of the very popular Adidas sandal of my high school era).

Standard issue backless croc.
Holy Crap...Crocs now makes a sporty "heeled dress croc." I might have to buy a pair for when I next get to a podium!!

- A StairMaster is a piece of exercise equipment that harkens back to the days of Jazzercise, leg warmers, sweat bands, and New Kids on the Block. I remember riding my first StairMaster at my grandparents house while watching track and field at the 1988 Olympics. StairMasters can now be found in the dusty corners of most athletic clubs or in disrepair stuffed into high school gym closets.

Example of my latest ride.
I don't use this model because I don't like being all up on display for the entire YMCA Mountain View population.

Benefits to sporting the croc, StairMaster, pregnant chick look:

- You will not have to wait in line or fight anyone for one of the 3 StairMasters at YMCA Mountain View. Ever.  Even at peak time. Even if every other piece of equipment was taken.

- The fact that nobody uses the StairMaster means that it is probably not an easy workout, if utilized correctly. Do you ever wonder why those elliptical machines fill up more quickly than a One Direction concert? This is because they are EASY. One can wear makeup and not sweat on an elliptical machine. One can read the small-print Wall Street Journal on an elliptical machine. One can sip a latte on an elliptical machine. One can do NONE of these activities on a StairMaster. Hell, I'm just happy to not fall off the Stairbomber when I put it on the highest level.

- You will spend countless hours at the gym where people-watching will keep you entertained and your mind off the fact that you are a one-croc wearing, basketball for a uterus pregnant chick. My favorite people to watch are the high school girls who spend more time looking at their butts in the mirror then paying attention to their level one elliptical workout. I also love the weightlifters sporting Vibrams or Nike Frees and doing 100 reps per second while making sounds similar to Olympic shot-putters....the real ones, not the decathletes.

- People offer you water and towels while viewing you as some type of circus act. Really, people. I'm just a pregnant athlete with a healing foot. I'm not a Zoo exhibit.

I only have a few more days of this routine before I can get back to the pool and running and seriously, I have NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED about swimming and "jogging" with a 3+ pound child inside my womb in my entire life. BRING IT ON!!

28 weeks pregnant. The end is kind of almost encroaching upon being nearer.


  1. The display of your "battle station" reads 9:42. It does not surprise me that you will stairbomb* longer than it takes you to do an IM.


  2. i'm dying laughing right now, but heal up that poor foot asap!
    first, you look gorgeous in that photo!!
    second...nothing wrong with crocs!! I rock the crocs...I feel like you are suggesting they are not in style anymore? ;) I love my hot pink crocs covered in "jewels" from the kiddies at the pool.
    third, stairmaster=awesome. The trainers at the gym I used to work at, we loved the stepper---it was awesome when we did weights, mix 10min on stepper between exercises.